Prompt: “What does strength look like when no one’s watching?”
Bouncing back from challenges and setbacks
Keeping a positive attitude and determination to stay on the high road when the going gets tough.
When no one is watching, I keep trying to bounce back from the triggers that pop up. My triggers show up in different ways and different times. I have been a 911 Dispatcher from 2004 until present. Sometimes one of my triggers shows up as a phone call on 911 from a frantic parent and I have to walk them through doing CPR on their child. Another trigger may show up when a child calls because they have found their parent unresponsive. At other times they show up as Birthdays or holidays when I should be celebrating with my family that I have lost. I will try to hide the punch that I feel in my gut and then will let out the silent screams and tears when I am alone or in a place where I feel safe. When I am being watched, I try to be the strongest person that I can be, which is sometimes hard. I try to keep a positive attitude one day at a time. There again, I find sometimes are harder than others.
I have been hit with many heartbreaks in the last 25 years. I worked as a Law Enforcement Officer beginning in 1989 until 2004. I dealt with my shares of fights, being shot at and in a high-speed car chase that ended in a crash. My sister died in 2016 from complications of Multiple Sclerosis. My daughter died in 2017, after her second double lung transplant because of a life long battle with Cystic Fibrosis. In 2018, I was diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. Lots of loss in a short amount of time will break someone down.
I get asked a lot “How are you so strong, after what you have been through?”. I am strong because I have family, friends, peers and my GOD! I try to reach out when I need to talk. It is not always easy, because when you ask for help some people consider that as being weak.
I will always try to be the light in somebody’s day when I am being watched, even if I am feeling beaten on the inside. A kind word or a smile is something we all can give away and we never know how much it can mean to someone else. Like me, how you look on the outside does not tell your whole story.
My strength looks like a lot like that when I am being watched. I am strong.!
~~~~~Kim Minnick~~~~~